Monday, May 18, 2009

I Am Trying to Stay Positive


I haven't been in a really good place lately. I am struggling with staying on my healthy eating and exercising. It all started last Sunday for Mother's Day. I won't go into the details but I was depressed for 2 days and over ate and didn't exercise. I did lose 1 lb this week for a total of 52 lbs. and total for Chubby Chick Challenge 28 lbs.
I was doing fine today and then this afternoon I started snacking and lost all control. I have to refocus. I need to change up some of my food choices. I think I am eating to many of the same things and I might be getting bored with them. This has happened to me before. I am also going to have to talk to my hubby and daughter about all of this. I was doing good with making them cookies and bringing in the ice cream and pastries but now that I am feeling out of control with the food I need to stop bringing in this stuff until I can get back to where I was.

I was reading one of my favorite blogs called
Escape from Obesity the other day where she was talking about bloggers who fall off the weight loss wagon and just disappear. That is what I felt like doing. I was going to take a break from making entries. I know I only do an entry only once a week but I am starting to feel the shame of going back to my old eating habits and didn't want to post. I love the weight loss journals that I read where they are so brave and talk about all the junk they eat when they binge. I have been doing so good for 5 months and I have had a few slip ups but 4 days in the past week is over doing it, plus on top of not exercising is making it worse. When you get older it is so much harder to take off. Ok enough of my pity party.

My weekend was really busy but fun. On Saturday we celebrated my nephew turning 30. He was really surprised. He said he did not know about it. I love those kinds of surprises. We had to pay a cover charge but I didn't because it was to eat pizza and drink alcohol. I ordered a salad with chicken in it and had one glass of Merlot. I got a to go container since the salad could have fed 3 people. As it got later in the night I told my sister in law to put some extra pieces of pizza in it for my hubby and all the time I am thinking I wanted it for me on the ride home. She gave me about 15 slices of pizza. I had one on the way home and one when I got home. Pizza is my downfall. I can't be near it when I am feeling overwhelmed with food. I had a few more the next day and finished 3 more slices today. Thank goodness there is no more left.

Yesterday we had a family reunion but it was more of my cousin's side of the family. It was nice and I brought old time pictures that they loved looking at. My brother from California came. It was so great to see him. I invited them over for Memorial day. I think I will make a few steaks on the grill and not sure what else. He will be 60 on Wednesday and I asked him what he wanted to do but he said a few of his friends were having something planned so I might make a cake for him for next Monday. I swear I won't eat any. LOL

Last week I seen a fox across the street.
It had something in its mouth. I thought it was a rabbit but it was a squirrel. I told my hubby not to let our dog Bambi out in front because I think that fox would just grab him. I seen the fox a few more times earlier in the month. I didn't think they came out during the day. I thought they hunted at night. I wish I would have gotten a picture. He was out there for a few minutes. I just copied a picture of this fox from the internet.

20 comments:

garnett109 said...

My friend I can share your pain, I've been off the alcohol for a few weeks now , but it is in my dreams now and I know that if this sweet liquid touches my lips it's off that wagon and back to riding that bull!
Keep on Hanging On!

jo said...

Okay, so life's been rough lately. Eating won't make it better. It makes it worse. Eating just covers it all up, figuratively and literally.

You're human.

Don't let all your hard work go down the drain. Take a deep breath, put yourself first, forgive yourself and move on.

Life is so hard. It really is. I wish I could wave a magic wand and make everything better for you. Keep your eye on the big picture, do what it is you ned to do to get through it.

Most of all,

(((((((((((((hugs)))))))))))

Sybil said...

We all have to have a wee time when we slip back...it is no big deal...the stong thing is getting back to it...YOU WILL YOU ARE STRONG...It would be a good idea though to find a change in your diet as you already know you are NOT on a diet you are in a new way of lifetime eating so if you don;t change things around aften of course you will fed up and drift back....I seriously think the secret of all "diets" is to be able to have a break every couple of months or so if only for a few days....knwoing that you are able to easily get back to your new way of living and eating. You have done so BRILLIANTLY I have nothing but admiration for you.
Love Sybil xx

Dutch said...

I want to thank you garnett109, Jo and Sybil for your kind words. All three of you are right. I guess I was just having a bad whiny day. Again, I want to thank you for your support. You are all fantastic. Love you all.

Julie said...

Since this is how it will be your whole life eating wrong occasionally will happen. Just don't let it be an excuse to quit. Just get right back on track. Your doing great.

A Daunting Tale of Scale Warfare said...

EVERYDAY is a new day, EVERY MINUTE is a new minute. Use those new days and new minutes as a fresh start. Trust me, I blogged for 2 years, but only blogged when I was actually eating healthy. When you stop, you think "eh its ok to eat an entire pizza today, no one is going to know!"

You can do this, you really can. Read everyones blogs, get some ideas about different meals you want to try. Make a list of all of those meals and try 1-2 new ones each week. Dont tell everyone that they are healthy, just that youre trying a new delicious dish!

You've lost 52 lbs...AMAZING!

Kathy said...

I want you to know I completely understand what you are feeling. But let me tell you this, this new lifestyle you have embarked upon is just that a lifestyle. Even the most disciplined people have days where they fall off the wagon. It's life and the hardest part is getting back up there on that wagon and dusting yourself off and getting going again. Try not to let it get you down. It's only a few days and look how well you've done over the last 5 months. You have so much to be proud of and you're going to be fine. Keep on keeping on......

bbubblyb said...

Never giving up is the key Dutch. We all struggle at times. Pizza is one of my downfalls too. I think concerning the blog it's accountability and we all need that. Hope this week is better for you.

Missie said...

Don't dwell on the fact that you lost control for a couple of days. Remember the total amt you have lost so far and concentrate on that!

Marisa (Trim The Fat) said...

How'd Polly make out today???

Dutch said...

Positive Polly is doing a little better today because she is sick and doesn't have much of an appetite. Thanks for asking Marisa

Tabby said...

Hey Buddy,

Sorry I am late commenting I am so behind on reading my blogs. So what if you had Pizza you have been working your butt off and doing so good. How you can make goodies for your family and not be tempted is beyond me.....that takes will power. So what you went on a little binge no big deal. Best thing is find some new things to eat change it up a bit. Check out www.hungrygirl.com and www.sparkpeople.com for some great ideas. When you are on a diet you tend to torture yourself if you eat something you like. As long as you are exercising you can still enjoy something like pizza or what ever now and then. Ok I have gone on long enough. Don't be so hard on yourself.
Hugs!!!!

Rhonda said...

Hey congrats on your loss this week!! I really want that 25 lb. button over there on your side bar...better get with it if I gonna meet my revised goal!

Pizza is a weakness for me. I started making it myself. It is so much healthier and tastes better! You can control what goes on it!

Have a great week...nope don't give up! Never! We can't!

Arlene (AJ) said...

Just hang in there, take it one day at a time. Everyone falls off the diet route at one time or another, that's normal. Just allow yourself to accept that it can happen, but don't allow yourself to give up your goal to a healthier life. You know how great you are feeling after all the weight you lost already, keep reaching for that goal. You can do, I'm rooting you on, dear.

jh said...

Seeing that fox was important for you. I had one come right up to me this winter as I was sitting on the porch, smoking. It tried to take my cigarette and I knew then that I had to change. I quit smoking and have been running ever since. Animals are omens and I believe the fox is all about good changes and choices on the way!

jen
Boda weight loss Blog

SeaShore said...

I hope you are doing better today, but even if you aren't it's okay. A few off days are simply a few off days. They don't mean a return to old patterns unless you choose it. It's your choice as to whether you take back control or give up.

This is forever, it's not a diet, right? Crappy days, even crappy weeks will happen, but then you press reset and get back on track.

I know that 3 months from now you would rather have 52+ pounds gone, than 51 or fewer pounds gone. Or worse.

Good luck. You aren't alone.

Lisa said...

Just found your blog! Thanks for stopping by my blog... Now.. this whole weight loss thing is an on going process for all of us. It sucks....but we all have to keep trying.

I wish you much success this upcoming week.... one day at a time girl!!

And pizza is my weakness too! Ohhh... don't even talk about Reese Cups.... Bigtime weakness...Bigtime!

bbubblyb said...

Dutch, how are you? Miss you, hope you're doing ok.

Lainey said...

Glad you didn't decide to drop off the face of the Earth. :o)

I've been thinking lately about how to change up my food choices, too.

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